our headbangers ball

I am waving the white flag. I surrender. After years of giving up the list, sometimes having Dan pry it out of my clenched fist, only to stubbornly try it again. I am finally  handing over the grocery cart, the coupons, and the list, to Dan. Again. Some part of me just does not want to give up on this one. Maybe because of the fact that if you are a woman you should be able to shop, right? And men claim we are very good at it. Well, not me. I am really bad at it.  I am actually missing the tools required to do it. I will probably try again though, soon. Lord help us……… and the budget. Good thing Dan is good at juggling.

I have wandered around stores aimlessly.  I have lost money. I have gone WAY over budget. I have brought home stuff we don’t need. I have filled a cart, only to find it full of un-needed items, wondering when I put it in the cart while trying to put it all back and overwhelmed I abandoned it at the store.  I have done everything but run away, screaming. (ok, maybe I did that once) And by the time it is all over with I have a huge, pulsing, can’t function headache! Now I have to pay for the experience. Get everything to the car. Get everything home. Get everything in the house. Put everything away. Sounds simple to you. For me it is overwhelming. It leaves me Dazed and Confused. Total overload. Total failure.

fail·ure (flyr) n.

Most women are good at shopping. Really good. They collect coupons. They run to multiple stores with children in tow to get the best deal. They feed huge families on small budgets. They provide their household with food and other really cool stuff. They make special occasions out of it. They go with other women and talk and have fun during the whole experience. They actually ENJOY shopping. Weird. Not me. I am a woman with out the shopping “gift”

I am currently sitting in a nice new office chair so that I can blog about this epic fail to you in comfort. One item. One little black office chair. Simple right? Run to Staples, buy office chair on sale, come home, put it together and enjoy, right? Ummmmmmm. Well, that’s not how I do it. I go to Staples. Strategies ready.  I wander around the store and find the chairs. I look for prices. No prices to be found. I have brought Katie with me. She has been instructed not to say anything so that I can concentrate on my purchase and get through this seemingly simple task. . She finally points out to me that all the chairs have tags on them. BIG tags on them. With the price. Convenient right! Why, oh why, can’t I see them until she shows me? It’s my TBI shopping curse. Damn curse. Strategies, by now are nowhere to be found. I walk around the chairs. I leave the chairs. I go back to the chairs. We pick out a chair. Katie carries it to the cashier. We pay for the chair and Katie takes it to the truck. I need a break from all this action. So I send Katie into another store for batteries (yes, I forgot to get those in Staples, even with my list right in my hand) while I take a break. Feeling refreshed I grab the flyer we got with the chair at Staples. Oh jeezzzzzz. I find a much better chair for a much better price. So when Katie returns we head back to Staples. She carries the chair in. We buy the better, on sale chair. Katie carries it out to the truck and home we go. Only to find out I am missing $30 somewhere? We never find it. It’s not at the store, it’s not in the truck, it’s not in my purse. While Katie puts together the chair, I retreat to my bed for a much-needed break and I surrender to an exhausted nap.

So here I sit in my new chair. Firmly seated in the fact that I am giving up the grocery cart one more time. Even after applying strategies from my therapist, I still can’t do it. I’m a shopping drop out. No matter how organized or simple the list. I admit defeat.  Until next time……………..

~ by gonefishindd5 on September 5, 2011.

Posted in Living Well with a Disablity, Personal experiences with Traumatic Brain Injury, Traumatic Brain Injury
Tags: grocery shopping with a TBI, Personal Experiences with a TBI, TBI, Traumatic Brain Injury, Traumatic Brain Injury Survivor