our headbangers ball

K, well actually it was about three weeks ago and I am just now getting around to posting this. Been a little busy. My son graduated from high school and I just focused on him for a while. One thing at a time right!?!?

I went to my last appointment for the semester at the USU Speech Therapy department. There’s no fixing the brain damage but we can go around it and make new neuron pathways of thinking. So I guess I could say I am building a new brain.

Krista was waiting for me as usual. I gave her a small gift for all her hard work. We chatted for a while, then she got out my treatment plan and progress reports and we went over them together. I have made great strides since I started speech therapy last fall. It  helped my with my memory and problem solving skills.  Next Krista gave me some homework for the summer, just a few things to keep me sharp. Then she told me that I did not need to come back. I was shocked. They, Krista and her supervisor, feel that I don’t need speech therapy anymore.  I was elated!  So with all the graduating going on around us, I am considering myself graduated from Speech Therapy. Even though there was no ceremony, no cap and gown, I was just as proud, relieved and glad it was over. Time to move on I guess. One thing accomplished and on to the next one. Now if I can just remember to do my summer homework.

I hated going to speech  therapy. You see it’s just that some days it feels like a huge undertaking to go anywhere, but once I get there I’m fine. First I have to get ready, then take a break before I leave, then get in the car and drive to my appointment, getting lost almost every time I went. I finally strategized by writing the name of the street on my parking pass that hangs from my mirror so all I had to do was glance at it and know exactly which road took me up to the campus, then taking a break as soon as I got parked and getting into the building just as soon as I could so I would not be late.   All those tasks get our hair a little ruffled sometimes, but to some one with a TBI it seems impossible and very overwhelming.                                                                                                                               

Krista was always ready and waiting for me. We would chat for a few minutes, then I felt better. I liked speech therapy once I got there. Kind of. I always felt like I ran a marathon by the time we were finished. I will admit that it hurt my pride a little to walk in with all the kids going to therapy and I was the only adult. Sometimes people would ask me where my child was and I would respond “I am the patient.”, “really?” they would say. Then I would explain my TBI to them and they understood.  

We would begin with a few memory recall exercises like recalling whats on the other side of the card that she showed me a few minutes earlier. The thing I hated most was when she would play background noise and then have me practice memory recall or simple directions. Sound easy? It wasnt for me. I could not perform this task very well a year ago. I would draw a blank and not be able to focus, then I would feel a little ashamed as I tried to remember what she wanted me to recall, knowing it wouldn’t come. Sitting there like an idiot I would finally admit defeat and give up.  Now, I can do it. Randy first, then Krista taught me strategies on what to ignore and what to keep. What to focus on and what not too. I was horrible at this last year at this time. But now I can pass with flying colors. Another one of my favorites (I am being sarcastic here) was listening to a tape player recite instruction on what to draw on a piece of paper that I had in front of me. I would hear the instructions then I would have to remember the instructions I just heard for a short time until I heard a beep, then perform on paper. Next, I would get handed some homework to do. Usually a paper with a story on it. I was supposed to take a highlighter to each paragraph, marking only the important stuff, then at the end I would summarize the story in my own words in a short paragraph. Now I highlight everything I read. I am a yellow highlighter addict. I really need to find some other colors.  Lastly we would record what we did on an index card so I could remember and reflect on what we did that day and what my homework was.

Talk about tired. I could hardly wait to get out to the car and collapse in the seat and take an extra long break. The noise and straining to think and remember really takes a toll on me. I would soon be frustrated and my brain would just shut down. So I would hear and understand nothing. After my break I would start the car and be on my way. Forget shopping or anything while I was in town, I am done for the day. I had to make sure and take all my breaks and maybe some extra so I wouldn’t be brain-dead the rest of the day. We worked hard, Randy, Krista and I, and my progress shows. I am done with speech therapy.

We hugged and then Krista’s husband took a few photos. We both teared up a little. We said our goodbye’s. Then I walked out to my car and started my break before the drive home. I didn’t make it all the way through my break cause I started crying. I do  a lot of crying in the car after appointments. I never used to be such a boob. But it’s one more step, and each one means so much to me. It’s part of the pathway to a better me, a healthier more functioning me and I did it. It wasn’t easy, but I did it. It’s also not over. I still need to practice my strategies and keep doing my homework.  I will have to go back to therapy if I lose my progress.  I will keep my strategies in place, and glance at my index cards now and then. 

I hope Krista will be proud of me for summarizing my experience. Sorry Krista, I do get a little long-winded.  So I am slowly becoming Diane. Part of the old me and part of the new me. The Diane I am getting to know and like.   

Special thanks to Randy and Krista. So glad you will be out there somewhere helping people like me. You’re good at it. Thanks for being my friend and my therapist and helping me in so many ways. 

~ by gonefishindd5 on June 16, 2010.

Posted in Uncategorized